“New Pharmaceutical”
[Okay, the following "advertisement" can be found on many blogs and websites. I might as well do the same since I actually heard it the other night on late-night radio and I also could be in line to become an actual "client". I changed the formatting and some punctuation just a bit. Can you Prairie Home Companion fans see the addition of a preface like "If you’ve tried Powdermilk Biscuits and haven’t gotten results…."? ]
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.
Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®!
Tequila® may not be right for everyone. (Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include: pounding headache, resistance to loud noises, dizziness, nausea, dehydration, dry mouth, vomiting, dry heaves, diarrhea, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, loss of spouse, loss of job, loss of life, delusions of grandeur, fighting, table dancing, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.)
Tequila®. Leave Shyness Behind! ™
Thanks Sparrowman for having the courage to stand up and publicize this wonderful but sometimes highly criticized pharmaceutical product! Yes yes, I’ve heard all the side affect and symptom arguments associated with this product, but the benefits simply can’t be ignored. I give the product a ringing endorsement, and can say with confidence that you will benefit from it too! You may need help from your liquor store attendant to determine the right level that will be most beneficial for you. For a quick fix in situations such as preparing for that first date or interacting with your spouse, perhaps a shot or two might do the trick. For larger life stressors such as dealing with your hyperactive boss or preparing for that company party, especially when you hate all your co-workers, you might need higher doses. It has been documented that the side-effects run in negative correlation with the amount of the product taken, but when balancing out your many inadequacies, large doses are well worth the risk. A bottle or so have been known to perform miracles for people! If this product does not sit well with you, or if the taste isn’t to your liking, again you may want to have a little chat with your liquor store attendant to see if there is a similar product that will better suite your style and taste. So get out there and purchase Tequila®, the new “wonder drug”!!!
Comment by mounty4life — September 26, 2006 @ 10:25 am