Position Open
Wanted:
Position Name: Narrator
Needed: Immediately
Additional Qualities Preferred: Counselor, Advocate, Financial Planner, Lawyer, Guidance Counselor, Mentor, Heideggerian Existentialist Philosopher (Husserlian also acceptable), Pastor, (Pro) Coach, Psychic, Remote Viewer, Medicine Man (person), Practical Certified Shaman, Disembodied Talking Spirit.
Duties:
Assist Sparrowman and others in determining what is exactly going on at any present, given minute. Point out subtle but important clues and anomalies. Give hints to possible future plots and plot complications–elaboration of such especially welcomed and desired. Remind Sparrowman and others of significant past events and provide segues for flashbacks, when and where appropriate. S/He should be able to add a note of comic relief, but not required.
Usage of standard phrases welcomed, e.g., “Meanwhile…, back at the Survey…” “Shift now to action in Seattle…” “It was the summer of ’88 in Pittsburgh when…[insert flashback here]” "Confused and surrounded by 10,000 stinging insects…" “Drunk and somewhat incapacitated…” You know, the usual.
Narrator should be ready to provide any insight to all and any daily activity or utterances of and for Sparrowman.
Sorry, people with schizophrenia and dissociative disorders need not apply. (Sparrowman has use for these in other available positions!).
